May 12, 2009 | Short Order

12 Reasons to Eat Out beyond Your Means

 Le Bernardin

        1. Investing in New York is a good investment.  You can’t lose.

        2. It won’t cost that much more than a shopping binge at Dagostino’s.
        3. It’s cheaper than a weekend in Paris.
        4. Eating rich will make you feel rich.
        5. It’s a way of confirming the world is not falling apart.
        6. It’s the patriotic thing to do:  Save a dishwasher’s job. Buy the waiter’s kid a new pair of sneakers.
        7. I know Madoff made off with everything. Isn’t that why you were forced to sell the Picasso last week?
        8. If you don’t get out of down-and-out depressed sneakers and jeans, you’ll forget how great you clean up.
        9. You owe it to your kids suddenly in public school that all is not lost.  They can use the Le Bernardin menu you bring home for show and tell.
        10. Given all the pinchpenny pizzas, pastas and burgers you’ve been eating, you’ve already stored enough plaque to block the Holland Tunnel.
        11. It’s romantic and good for your sex life.
        12. You don’t want to be too tight. A crane could fall on you tomorrow.

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Insatiable, The Book, Bby Gael Greene

Cafe Fiorello